Customer Service

Every Christmas Sears Canada sells a small, specially designed stuffed toy to raise money for charity. It is usually displayed near all the cashiers. My friend, Mary, visited Sears on the weekend to get a few of the toys for her grandchildren but couldn’t find them near any of the three or four check-outs she tried. Finally, at the fifth desk, she asked the cashier where the toys were located. “Well,” responded the helpful clerk, “they’re in the store somewhere.”

Mary decided it was time to go home.

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I Bought it on eBay (2)

While surfing eBay, I found listings for “pre-owned, well worn socks”. If you`re paying to have well-worn socks shipped to your house, I think you should be attending meetings that begin with “Hello, my name is [whatever] and I’m a shopaholic”.

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I Bought it on eBay

Recently we ordered a lovely framed print on eBay. It was by an artist we really like and the price was reasonable so we decided to chance it, despite the fact that the seller was across the continent in California. It’s a long way to ship something with a big sheet of glass, but the seller had excellent approval ratings and claimed to ship with great care.

The box arrived with the unmistakable rattle of glass shattered into hundreds of pieces. It was in perfect condition so we knew before even opening the box that the problem was with the packing. Sure enough, a roughly one-inch thick picture was packed in a 5-inch thick box with only one layer of bubble wrap, a couple of sheets of crumpled paper and a handful (literally) of styrofoam peanuts to protect it. The painting wouldn’t have made it across town unscathed, never mind across the country. Worst of all, the print was destroyed by the glass scratching it in several places.

I e-mailed the vendor and told him that the picture was ruined because it hadn’t been packed properly and he responded with “What do you mean it wasn’t packed properly?”

Well, it’s advisable to provide some padding when you’re shipping something breakable – perhaps several layers of bubble wrap to start, then enough paper and/or other filler to prevent the object from bouncing around the box like a pinball in a high scoring game. It should be more like a commuter in rush hour crammed into a subway car so tightly he can’t even raise an arm to scratch his nose. Or like batteries so snug in a compartment that you struggle for five minutes to get them out to change them and finally have to search for a paperclip or something to use to dig the first one out. Or like a newborn baby in the hands of a capable maternity nurse who can take a little blanket and, in a matter of seconds, wrap the baby so securely it can’t move a muscle and it actually likes it (but will have to learn to live without because the new parents can never fully master the art of baby wrapping).

That’s what I mean.

P.S. Upon receipt of photos, the seller promptly refunded all money, including the shipping costs.

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Really?

Yesterday I bought a lighted pocket magnifier at The Source for $4.99. Although it’s a handy little item, I only got it because it cost so little. When I took it to the counter, the salesperson tried to sell me three years of insurance for it.

Uh, no.

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